http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk A collection of the best sketches, jokes, music, radio plays and creative madness broadcast on “The Cornucopia Radio Show" en-PI Peter Beeston and Old Mime Productions /2008 JellyCast http://www.jellycast.com Peter.Beeston@virgin.net (cornucopia) Comedy Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:14:35 +0100 Thu, 04 Feb 2010 19:07:13 +0000 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/files/image2.jpg http://www.cornucopia-radio.co.uk 144 144 A collection of the best sketches, jokes, music, radio plays and creative madness broadcast on “The Cornucopia Radio Show" P.Beeston cornucopia Peter.Beeston@virgin.net podcast No No A collection of the best sketches, jokes, music, radio plays and creative madness broadcast on “The Cornucopia Radio Show" The very best of the “Cornucopia Radio Show”, broadcast every month on SheffieldLive 93.2fm. Featuring sketches, jokes,funny stuff, music, radio plays and unbridled creative madness. Think of it like dental floss; FOR YOUR MIND!!! http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/57 It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots. Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber... Mon, 01 Feb 2010 22:15:42 +0000 It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots. Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/57 Peter Beeston Welcome to the meaning of random... It’s the start of a new year, but that isn’t going to stop us! In fact nothing is going to stop us now; as we produce yet another haphazardly constructed and poorly thought out comedy podcast! This month featuring: snowmen, cardboard people, insurance companies, the titanic, ducks & dogs & cows, inserted radios, sex shops and trainee airline pilots. Oh, and a free ‘Air Pie with Oxygen Filling’ for every new podcast subscriber... No snowmen, cardboard, insuranc, titanic, ducks, dogs, cows, radios, sex shop, air crash, cornucopia, beeston, channel 5, comedy, 00:35:45 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/49 It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion. Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus... Tue, 15 Dec 2009 16:52:39 +0000 It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion. Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/49 Peter Beeston 26 Miles and 385 Yards of Pain! It is said that Pheidippides, an Athenian herald, was sent to Sparta to request help when the Persians landed at Marathon, running 150 miles in just two days. After this, he then ran another 25 miles from the battlefield near the town of Marathon to Athens to announce the Greek victory over Persia in the Battle of Marathon with the word "Νενικήκαμεν", meaning 'We have won'. He then collapsed and died on the spot due to exhaustion. Many years later; in the town of Sheffield, we find ourselves focused on the adventures of a very unfit man trying to complete his first ever Marathon. He’s only just started and already he’s thinking about catching a bus... No comedy, drama, marathon, funny, humor, running, sport, pe, sheffield, sheffield live, sick, interview 00:12:48 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/48 The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening. So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin” Thu, 19 Nov 2009 18:02:07 +0000 The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening. So, let us ‘force your opening’ with the “Free by Three” special. Starting with “Falling”, a tale about the denial of gravity. Then later on you’ll hear us helping the public with “The Poetry Technical Support Line” and lastly, we’ll tell you about an object which everybody truly desires. We call it, “The Macguffin” Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/48 Peter Beeston Three stories recorded in a strange place at a strange time... The meaning of ‘Three’ is all about the union of two parts to create a unique whole. That point of union forms the fruit of knowledge; it is our access point to unlimited potential. Because if ‘One’ represents force, and ‘Two’ represents an opening, then ‘Three’ is the birthing of true wisdom through a forced opening. No comedy, drama, stories, storytelling, sheffield, weird, strange, macguffin, poetry, technical support, sky diving, free fall 00:26:49 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/44 We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you. Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you? Oh, what's that? You didn’t forget about it? Okay, sorry our mistake. Thu, 22 Oct 2009 21:38:52 +0100 We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you. Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you? Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/44 Peter Beeston You've got what it takes, but it will take everything you've got... We’ll start with long slow phone-call before we move onto an empty restaurant, there’s a guinea pig... in a bowl of soup....yeah that’s right...soup! Then we’ll wait, we’ll let you try to take in what you’ve just heard. Then boom! You’re in deep space, didn’t see that one coming; did you? We’ll knock you down onto the ground with a quick one-two! Dog sedatives and 'Junking the Junk'. You won’t know what hit you. Finally you’ll think it’s all over, after all why wouldn’t it be? But you’re wrong, cause you’ve forgotten about a little trip to the dentist...haven’t you? No sheffield, beeston, comedy, humour, nhs, waiter, guinea pig, space, sci-fi, mars, Dogs, junk, antiques, dentist, cornucopia 00:27:42 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/29 Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might.... They might... Sun, 20 Sep 2009 22:31:46 +0100 Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might.... They might... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/29 cornucopia Paper covers Rock, but Rock smashes through Paper... Three important characters stand on a windy hilltop. One is known as Rock, the strongest and bravest of the group. Another calls herself Scissors; she is as sharp as she is deadly. Finally, struggling to avoid being blown away in the wind, we find Paper. He is flat. He is nothing else. Elsewhere a string puppet is entering a brothel for the first time in his life. He wants to bang wood (without getting a splinter!). Meanwhile, a TV plays to itself in a shop window. The show Backpeddle is just starting; yet again somebody will have to atone for crimes levelled against it by the British press. Across the road, Pam is opening up her pet shop for another day. As she does, she views a pantomime horse crossing the road; she wonders where he is going in such a rush. The Pantomime horse is going for a job interview; he knows the job is already his. Do all these events have anything in common? Well, they might.... They might... No rock paper scissors, backpeddle, thunderbirds, horse, sex, comedy, british, sheffield, nick card, andrew martin, uk, funny, 93.2 00:28:00 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/23 ‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’. Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both? Wed, 24 Jun 2009 15:39:08 +0100 ‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’. Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both? Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/23 Peter Beeston The story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father ‘Fishing’ tells the story of a son’s last ditch attempts at connection and reconciliation with his dying father Frank; who as the cancer takes over his body, is becoming increasingly bitter and frustrated at the prospect of losing control over what little time he has left. In the hospice, he dreams of one last “adventure” of his own, a return to one of his favourite fishing spots to ‘hit’ a Tench or two and sink a Pint of Kington’s at ‘The Royal’. Realising that time is of the essence, Phil ‘kidnaps’ his Father from the clutches of ward sister “Eva Braun” and on a hired narrow-boat and borrowed time, the two men embark on a journey of discovery revolving around the only activity they ever shared - Fishing. As they make their journey along the rivers and canals, the two men learn some painful home truths as long held secrets and opinions rise to the surface and with time running out, Phil is forced to reassess his commitment to the trip and ultimately his Father. Can he make it to the bitter end or will his selfish, middle class sensibilities betray them both? No fishing, paul kenny, sheffield, radio play, drama, cancer, canal, tench, peter beeston, david reid, chris bellamy, death 00:56:16 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/18 I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no… I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret. Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you. So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand. I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe. Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin” Fri, 15 May 2009 21:40:47 +0100 I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no… I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret. Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you. So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand. I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe. Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin” Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/18 Peter Beeston Just because you don’t get it, doesn’t mean it’s stupid. It means you are. I was trying to think the other day, about how old I might have been when I first heard about it. It’s odd, a memory like that you’d imagine would be seared into my very brain, but no… I’d guess, I was maybe seven or eight. I do recall a friend saying his uncle had bought one and he’d seen it himself. Of course, all kids lie and looking back now; I suspect at that age he wouldn’t have actually recognised one if it was stood next to him. However, later in life as you enter your teens, you begin to question things more. You want to know the ‘why‘ as much as the ‘how‘. I remember it seeming odd that everybody talked about this thing, yet nobody could tell me what it looked like. People were always vague when they talked about it. Never really making it clear if they did actually own it, or had once had it, or secretly longed for it. But it quickly became obvious to me, that if anybody did have it, they were keeping it very secret. Also, I had always assumed that it was something you had to buy. I mean how could you not? But the stories I had heard or read, seemed to suggest that some people had been given it, some people had found it, but most worryingly of all; a lot of people had stolen it. Once I knew this, I of course realised why everybody was always so mysterious about whether they had it or not. To admit you have it, or to show it to other people was almost like asking somebody to take it from you. So, as I left my teenage years and strode into adulthood, I found myself living in a world obsessed by it. Despite the fact that it’s image has never been worse. After all, as an object it is often faulty and tends to look out of place no matter where you keep it. As a service it is often slow and rarely up to the task at hand and as an idea, perhaps it’s time has passed. Still, maybe I’m wrong. Many will tell you it’s the greatest thing humanity has ever held in its grasp. It saves many more lives than it kills. It’s brought so many of us together who would otherwise be alone, and the amazing advancements in production, means it’s now small enough to hold in your hand. I don’t have it in case any of you are thinking that. Although maybe that’s just what I want you to think. If I did have it, wouldn’t this be the perfect way to hide it from you? Create a webpage and write as if I have no clue or desire. Maybe, it’s sat next to me as I type these words…Maybe. Whether you think I have it or not. Whether anybody has it, or whether something you’ve never really seen, can ever really exist. Keep in mind, there are millions of ‘things’ you can have, so why limit yourself to just one. I guess ultimately you’ve just got to learn think for yourself and not follow a “McGuffin” No comedy, surreal, funny, Sheffield, tv licence, Christopher Lloyd, care of the elderly, snooker, trick shoots, cassetteboy, weird 00:28:27 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/17 You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. You’re scared! Scared of entering “The House”... “The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast. Thu, 16 Apr 2009 19:28:19 +0100 You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. You’re scared! Scared of entering “The House”... “The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast. Starring: Nick Card: Poetry, Prose & Lead Vocals Geoffrey Card: The Landlord David Zezulka: Prospective Tennant Jess Falk: Additional House Viewer Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/17 Peter Beeston Dare You Enter the House? You stand in front of the door. You hand held in mid-air, posed to knock upon the harsh wooden surface. But you don’t. You barely move at all. Instead, you let the gentle summer breeze wash over you. You’re scared! Scared of entering “The House”... “The House” is a new concept poetry play. Previously produced by the ‘Cornucopia Team’ as an album release for ‘Amnesty International’ and now available as an exclusive podcast. No poetry, drama, cornucopia, nick card, house, god, earth, religion, poems, music, sheffield, amnesty international, wakefield 00:44:45 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/16 The first instalment of an occasional series where we get to play some excellent music from a selection of our good friends and Cornucopia contacts. If you want to get your own tunes played in the future, make sure you drop us a line and we’ll see what we can do. Sat, 21 Mar 2009 10:34:13 +0000 The first instalment of an occasional series where we play some excellent music from a selection of our good friends and cornucopia contacts. Featuring: Julian Skinner and Liz Price, No Fixed Abode, Biscuit Head and The Badgers, Nick Card, The Basement Project, Violence Beyond The Snowline , Phillip Hartley, Madam Laycock and her Dabeno Pleasures, Alexander Techneeqs & Penny Nair Price. If you want to get your own tunes played in the future, make sure you drop us a line and we’ll see what we can do. Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/16 Peter Beeston If music be the food of love, then we're bulimic... The first instalment of an occasional series where we play some excellent music from a selection of our good friends and cornucopia contacts. Featuring: Julian Skinner and Liz Price, No Fixed Abode, Biscuit Head and The Badgers, Nick Card, The Basement Project, Violence Beyond The Snowline , Phillip Hartley, Madam Laycock and her Dabeno Pleasures, Alexander Techneeqs & Penny Nair Price. If you want to get your own tunes played in the future, make sure you drop us a line and we’ll see what we can do. No Liz Price, No Fixed Abode, Biscuit Head Badgers, Basement Project, Violence Snowline , Phillip Hartley, Madam Laycock, Techneeqs 00:44:32 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/15 Fermat’s last theorem said if an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation a + b = c has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Which is just silly when you think about it. Instead, listen to this; we’ve got Banksy, Ronnie Corbett, Anthony Worrall Thompson, spam emails, M.C Escher, and a history of medicine. We've got it all... Sun, 01 Feb 2009 12:39:30 +0000 Fermat’s last theorem said if an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation a + b = c has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Which is just silly when you think about it. Instead, listen to this; we’ve got Banksy, Ronnie Corbett, Anthony Worrall Thompson, spam emails, M.C Escher, and a history of medicine. We've got it all... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/15 Peter Beeston Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light. Fermat’s last theorem said if an integer n is greater than 2, then the equation a + b = c has no solutions in non-zero integers a, b, and c. Which is just silly when you think about it. Instead, listen to this; we’ve got Banksy, Ronnie Corbett, Anthony Worrall Thompson, spam emails, M.C Escher, and a history of medicine. We've got it all... No Cornucopia, Sketch Comedy, Radio Comedy, corbett, banksy, worrall thompson, spam email, escher, graffiti, medicine, surreal, me 00:23:00 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/14 Santa is having a rather bad 2008. First of all, he’s had all the money in his landsbanki bank account suspended, quickly followed by the discovery of a series of offensive messages left on his answerphone from two out of control BBC DJ’s. Elsewhere, a selection of unemployed high street bankers are having to go out carol singing to make some money this Christmas, but pretty soon a better idea presents itself... Sun, 07 Dec 2008 15:51:42 +0000 Santa is having a rather bad 2008. First of all, he’s had all the money in his landsbanki bank account suspended, quickly followed by the discovery of a series of offensive messages left on his answerphone from two out of control BBC DJ’s. Elsewhere, a selection of unemployed high street bankers are having to go out carol singing to make some money this Christmas, but pretty soon a better idea presents itself... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/14 Peter Beeston I guess I just don’t know what Christmas is all about any more. Isn’t there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about!! Santa is having a rather bad 2008. First of all, he’s had all the money in his landsbanki bank account suspended, quickly followed by the discovery of a series of offensive messages left on his answerphone from two out of control BBC DJ’s. Elsewhere, a selection of unemployed high street bankers are having to go out carol singing to make some money this Christmas, but pretty soon a better idea presents itself... No xmas, christmas, cornucopia, sheffieldlive, 93,2, santa, credit crunch, comedy, sketch, play, beeston, peanuts, banks, brand 00:22:36 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/10 In a very special edition of the cornucopia podcast, we present some short spooky stories and poems, all written and performed by the cast. “Blood and Tears” features a typewriter with a thirst for blood and “Everything will be Okay” tells a story about the fall of humanity and a flesh eating virus. We’ll also challenge you to listen to Gloomy Sunday without taking a very long sleep that can last a lifetime. Wed, 29 Oct 2008 12:28:58 +0000 In a very special edition of the cornucopia podcast, we present some short spooky stories and poems, all written and performed by the cast. “Blood and Tears” features a typewriter with a thirst for blood and “Everything will be Okay” tells a story about the fall of humanity and a flesh eating virus. We’ll also challenge you to listen to Gloomy Sunday without taking a very long sleep that can last a lifetime. Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/10 Peter Beeston Beware of the big green dragon sitting at your doorstep! He eats little boys, puppy dog tails, big fat snails. Beware, take care Gather round creeps, gather round fools. Gather round spirits and gather round ghouls. Listen to me for I have a story of blackening fright and all things gory. Of grinning pumpkins and demon cats of wicked witches and scurrying rats. They've all come together to celebrate and feast; Larry the wolf and Igor the beast. For this is the night when little babies cry and orange mist pours from their eyes. When monster girls and monster men patiently wait for the fun to begin. What do they know that you've never seen? Well, I tell you my friend. A glorious hootenanny called HALLOWEEN!! No cornucopia, sheffield, sketch comedy, podcast drama, horror, halloween, ghosts, devil, gore, flesh, poetry, short story, 93.2, 00:39:26 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/9 Stop, look and listen. Once you’ve done that, start out by checking out our credit crunch report or some startling courtroom dramas. Then settle down for a little “Chicken and Fox” action, followed by the “News at Zen”. Please note; Ronnie Corbett has been banned from the studio... Look it clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to us!! Sat, 27 Sep 2008 11:38:23 +0100 Stop, look and listen. Once you’ve done that, start out by checking out our credit crunch report or some startling courtroom dramas. Then settle down for a little “Chicken and Fox” action, followed by the “News at Zen”. Please note; Ronnie Corbett has been banned from the studio... Look it clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to us!! Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/9 Peter Beeston Look it's clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to it! Stop, look and listen. Once you’ve done that, start out by checking out our credit crunch report or some startling courtroom dramas. Then settle down for a little “Chicken and Fox” action, followed by the “News at Zen”. Please note; Ronnie Corbett has been banned from the studio... Look it clear we’re going nowhere. So you better get used to us!! No Cornucopia, Sketch Comedy, Radio Comedy, Beeston, Sheffieldlive, Buddhism, 93.2, zen, fox, chicken, poetry,monologue, corbett 00:22:35 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/8 The door to this podcast is always open, mainly due to mechanical failure. So look inside for fighting fonts, Yorkshire clichés, a guide to stalking, answer-phone messages and funky philosophy. Are you even reading this?? Tue, 26 Aug 2008 14:14:18 +0100 The door to this podcast is always open, mainly due to mechanical failure. So look inside for fighting fonts, Yorkshire clichés, a guide to stalking, answer-phone messages and funky philosophy. Are you even reading this?? Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/8 Peter Beeston We're through the looking glass people.... The door to this podcast is always open, mainly due to mechanical failure. So look inside for fighting fonts, Yorkshire clichés, a guide to stalking, answer-phone messages and funky philosophy. Are you even reading this?? No Peter Beeston, Cornucopia Radio, Sheffieldlive, Yorkshire, Fonts, Mud, Stalker, Sketches, comedy, history, knievel, philosophy 00:22:58 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/7 This podcast will fit you like a suit of armour. It’s perfect, it works; don’t change a thing!!! You’ll start with a full introduction to the “Police Academy” before taking a very quick visit to Mars (take a jacket, it’ll be chilly). Once you return, will have a look at your horoscope, before trying on some “Cruel Shoes”. To end your day, we’ll all take a quick spin in the “Large Hedron Collider” Look, I’m not meant to be telling you this, but you’ve only got 31 minutes to live. So, you better download this... Tue, 29 Jul 2008 20:47:14 +0100 This podcast will fit you like a suit of armour. It’s perfect, it works; don’t change a thing!!! You’ll start with a full introduction to the “Police Academy” before taking a very quick visit to Mars (take a jacket, it’ll be chilly). Once you return, will have a look at your horoscope, before trying on some “Cruel Shoes”. To end your day, we’ll all take a quick spin in the “Large Hedron Collider” Look, I’m not meant to be telling you this, but you’ve only got 31 minutes to live. So, you better download this... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/7 Peter Beeston If you're reading this, then you’re already moral obliged to download the podcast! This podcast will fit you like a suit of armour. It’s perfect, it works; don’t change a thing!!! You’ll start with a full introduction to the “Police Academy” before taking a very quick visit to Mars (take a jacket, it’ll be chilly). Once you return, will have a look at your horoscope, before trying on some “Cruel Shoes”. To end your day, we’ll all take a quick spin in the “Large Hedron Collider” Look, I’m not meant to be telling you this, but you’ve only got 31 minutes to live. So, you better download this... No Peter Beeston, Cornucopia Radio, Sheffieldlive, police academy, mars, mars lander, horoscope, cruel shows, steve martin, hedron 00:31:17 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/6 To create the following podcast, you will need: The city of Rome, a tank full of petrol, some dog liver, a busy art gallery, plus some kind of pocket computer. Make sure you mix with “Great Gusto” and then leave out in the sun until it becomes a public nuisance. Tue, 11 Nov 2008 17:07:28 +0000 In years to come people will look back at this podcast and say; some type of ‘bar’ was either raised or lowered; I’m not sure. This week we have: The Building of Rome, Arcade games, High Price Fuel, Ready Steady Cook, Art, and "The Great Gusto" Klaatu Barada Nikto..... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/6 Peter Beeston I know it might not seem like it, but we're really good!! In years to come people will look back at this podcast and say; some type of ‘bar’ was either raised or lowered; I’m not sure. This week we have: The Building of Rome, Arcade games, High Price Fuel, Ready Steady Cook, Art, and "The Great Gusto" Klaatu Barada Nikto..... No Cornucopia Radio show, sheffieldlive, 93.2,Peter Beeston, Mud, Sheffield, History, Comedy, sketches, Gutso, Rome, Arcade, oprea 00:31:35 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/4 Listen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen! This week we have: Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging... If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening.... Sun, 11 May 2008 12:58:33 +0100 Listen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen.............. This week we have: Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging... If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening.... Peter Beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/4 Peter Beeston This time, it’s almost personal! Listen on your ipod, listen on your computer. Listen while enjoying the sunshine. Listen while jogging. Listen while having a drink. Listen while poking a badger with a stick. Listen, listen, listen.............. This week we have: Armies, Sherlock Holmes, Office Zombies, Ronnie Corbett, Moon Landings, and eyeball gouging... If you like it; try and tell 6 people about the podcast, then get them to tell six other people and so on and so on. By law if we do this enough, Kevin Bacon will end up listening.... No cornucopia radio show, sheffieldlive, 93.2,Peter Beeston, Mud, Sheffield, History, Comedy, sketches, Radio, Zombies, Sherlock, 00:25:41 http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/3 Welcome to the first podcast; in this compressed but concise package: You’ll find out why the internet was invented, discover how to put together flat pack furniture, listen to the colour blue, learn to cook with Mr ‘Worrall Thompson’ and you might even manage to catch 40 winks near the end. It’s like drain cleaner, BUT FOR YOUR HEAD!!! Sun, 13 Apr 2008 14:32:29 +0100 Welcome to the first podcast; in this compressed but concise package: You’ll find out why the internet was invented, discover how to put together flat pack furniture, listen to the colour blue, learn to cook with Mr ‘Worrall Thompson’ and you might even manage to catch 40 winks near the end. It’s like drain cleaner, BUT FOR YOUR HEAD!!! P.beeston http://cornucopia.jellycast.com/node/3 P.beeston Podcast One: The Beginning Welcome to the first podcast; in this compressed but concise package: You’ll find out why the internet was invented, discover how to put together flat pack furniture, listen to the colour blue, learn to cook with Mr ‘Worrall Thompson’ and you might even manage to catch 40 winks near the end. It’s like drain cleaner, BUT FOR YOUR HEAD!!! No Corncopia, cornucopia radio show, sheffieldlive, 93.2, Beeston, Mud, Sheffield, History, Internet, Comedy, Flatpack, sketches 00:22:06